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Saturday, May 25, 2019

Blogger Tells Me...

That quite a few people are still looking for updates on this blog. There won't be anymore. If you want to follow my new adventures, email me at tpflug@gmail.com or FB friend me, and I will send you the link to my new blog.

Sunday, May 19, 2019

You're My Person.

I know I said that I wasn't going to post anymore here, but I wanted to share these four special people in my life.

Do you know that saying? The first time I heard it was on Grey's Anatomy. It's having someone in your life that is always there for you, shows up no matter what, puts up with your BS, (in my case, chemical sensitivities) and continues to love you. As I read through Ecclesiastes this morning, which is a book a usually find kind of depressing, I was given hope and gratefulness. I had alway thought of Ecc 4:9-10 as talking about a married couple;
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them."
But today I realized it's talking about having a person.
I don't have a person; I have four. When my world fell apart Renee, who wasn't even home, but out of town, without me asking, drove through the night arriving at my house at 1am to sit with me. She then visited multiple times, bringing me encouragement, and packing up boxes.
Monica, who lives in Indiana, canceled appointments, found someone to watch her three homeschooled children, and drove to Asheville to spend a week with me.
Sarah, who was celebrating her 25th Anniversary, and on her family vacation, changed her plans and hopped on a plane in Orlando, to come take care of me.
Darlene, (and Mark) who has been my rock for so many years. She has helped me through many trials, and always provides a place of refuge for me. I don't even have the words to describe how special our relationship is.
I fell down, and these four friends picked me up, and I am so grateful for their friendship.




Thursday, May 16, 2019

About Last Night...

I did not sleep. Instead I writhed on the floor as my gallbladder tried to kill me; this is the third attack I've had in six weeks. Right now Darlene is wondering if she should take me to the hospital, because it's never a good sign when your pee is orange. I spent part of the morning laying across a bench, admiring the incredibly blue sky, listening to all the familiar sounds of Orlando, and hoping the sunshine would have some healing powers.
This is going to be my last post on Daily Observations. It makes me sad, but life has changed and it's time to start fresh. If you're here from Facebook, you'll still be seeing links to new posts, but if you are here from another blog, or find me through a bookmark, you will have to email me for a link to the new address.



Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Yesterday Was Really Crappy.


I knew 2019 would bring a lot of change to my life. After living with us for 7.5 years, Megan and Oliver were getting their own place, meaning I was going to have the time and space to finally start working on my art and Etsy shop. Brewier and I had started picking up furniture at thrift stores to make over and sell, and while sharing a house with the kids was fun it did add stress to our not so great marriage, but Brewier was getting help for his mental illness, so I had hope.

What has been shared on Daily Observations for the past 17 years are the high points, the good stuff. When I look back through the archives I think, "See, it wasn't so bad." Except that it was. I was in an abusive, marriage and am just now realizing how bad it was. To quote my doctor, "You've been brain f**ked for 38 years."

Monday, Brewier went to a see new psychiatrist in Tampa; he would only see Brewier if I went along. I thought I could do it, that I was strong enough to spend time with Brewier. I was so wrong.
I spent yesterday sitting in a chair weeping, the emotional beating I took making my body feel like it was physically abused. As I scrolled through Pinterest trying to numb my mind with pretty pictures, this article popped up. I read it, and it was if someone had written my life.




Tuesday, May 14, 2019

How Was Your Mothers Day?

Jessica and I celebrated together by going to a brewery in Brooksville. One of the brewers at Marker 48, had given me couple of free beer tokens last fall, and I had been holding on to them until Jessica and I could go together. My dad would have been so proud to know I am still able to do this trick he taught me.


Because two of our beverages were free, plus it was happy hour, we ordered four delicious, dark beers to sip on as we ate the tastiest BBQ from the Barbie Que food truck. No, we didn't finish all that beer, it would have been too much of a good thing...a couple of these were 8%.



Here I am, awkwardly doing my best Vanna White. There is a reason she gets the $$$, looking graceful is not easy.



While at Jessica's, Brooke asked if she could "massage" my legs and feet. This took nearly an entire bottle of lotion and an hour of time. Kate joined in by attending the leg that Brooke wasn't massaging. I think I was elevated to a higher spiritual plane...or I just fell asleep. While the girls did it out of love, I rewarded them; Kate with a couple of dollars, and at her request, Brooke got a pack of gum, each stick getting kissed before chewed.





Brookes latest favorite thing to do is play Patty Cake.


Brooke was delighted to be able to pick out her own sneakers; Spiderman. She much prefers boys clothing to frilly girl things.


I was really excited to be able to visit with Vickie last week. She was diagnosed with cancer and given a year to live...that was eight years ago. Her disease has provided her the opportunity to work on her art. She is currently busy with pet portraits, but for my 50th birthday she gave me this:


and this one of Megan and baby Oliver.


Our visits always include a trip to Hot Dog Heaven.



Florida does have the most beautiful clouds; I'm so happy to be here enjoying them.


Wednesday, May 08, 2019

I'm Not Depressed. Really.

My mom called, concerned about my mental well being after reading my blog, but honestly, I'm not depressed. Unsettled, heartbroken, sad, angry? Yes, those are things I'm feeling, but being around friends has kept me from falling into the pit of despair. Of course, I'm probably still in shock. Jessica said to me last weekend, "You know mom, you're not going to remember this year." She's right. I went through a very traumatic experience in 1995, followed by more trauma during the next four months, and I have no memory of the following year. This time though, I have a blog to help me remember.
I got a text from my brother Greg, asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee; I think it's been over a year since I last saw him, and it was good to hug him and catch up.


I found these on my phone, taken last week at a mall while Jessica's three oldest were in sewing class. Jackson and Brooke were ecstatic to get to ride the carousel; I'd never seen a double decker one before. Jackson headed straight for the top, and spent his ride doing acrobatics on his horse. I kept waiting for him to go careening over the rail.




Tuesday, May 07, 2019

What's My Plan?

I'm getting asked that alot, so to everyone who is wondering what my plan is, I'll tell you...I don't have one. Darlene has encouraged me to rest and heal; my Dr said I should disappear for a year to heal, (there is more to my story than just Brewier walking away). God has told me to be still and rest; him I'll listen to. Today I made myself get dressed, put on makeup and went out for coffee, followed by a trip to Goodwill, and a stroll down Park Ave, where I was disappointed to find that Pottery Barn was closed for renovations. I'll have to get my catalog fix this weekend when I visit Jessica.

Because it makes me happy and I do love organizing, I did this to my drawers here at Darlene's house. Anyone in O-town want help organizing? Let me know.


Foxtail Coffee in Winter Park.




I found a death star cookie jar at Goodwill


And I forgot to tell you, I have a new ride!


No that's not it. This dreamy Cadillac is so long it took up two parking spots, is pink inside and out and is pure perfection. When I spied the car, Aretha Franklins' "Freeway of Love" popped into my head and my eighties dream of owning a pink Cadillac like this one, flooded over me.
This is what I'm driving now. I went with a 2012 Toyota Sienna, with all the features I wanted, plus more. I found it at a dealership just six miles from Jessicas house, here in Florida.

Monday, May 06, 2019

Somebody Call the Waambulance.

I've started and deleted half a dozen partial posts this morning. It's hard not being whiney right now. I'm loving my time in Florida; it was my home for nearly thirty years, and I have some really good friends here. At the same time I'm missing Asheville, with all of its activity and the ability for me to walk, hike and spend time outside. The Beer City Festival is next month. I had planned on going to it, but the thought of going by myself does not thrill me; it's an experience to be shared. And that's where I'll stop my post today because I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself. So, photos from last week are what you get.

This weeks reading provided by Jessica...it's like she can read my mind.













You know the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt 'Do one thing every day that scares you.'? Posting this pic should count for a month of things. I'm working on doing the scary things.
















Saturday morning with Jessica.


My grandchildren are weird.




Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone.

But Cheez-its...Cheez-its are another matter. I have eaten more of this snack cracker in the past month, than I have in my entire life. Here is a photo of what I have been living on, (missing are the eggs, sprouted wheat bread and rotisserie chicken) I love being near a Costco! It’s challenging trying to figure out what to eat when I can’t cook, (I'm not eating out) so for now, this works.



I've been in Tampa this week visiting with my chicken pox covered grandchildren. They were all so excited to be sick, each kid anxiously awaiting for the pox to appear on their skin. This crew is sick so infrequently, that they look forward to illness because of the perks of getting to sleep on the sofa, eat ice cream and watch Netflix. Jessica wanted to give Kate some Advil and she cried out, "No! I don't want to get better!" Chicken pox...they just aren't that bad.

Jessica, Katherine, and I went out to a couple of breweries Friday night, my reward for watching the kids all day while Jessica was meeting. Here's a secret, 5 kids are easier to watch than one, because they keep each other entertained.



Brooke, wearing a sweater I bought for Jessica when she was 18 months old.


Right now I'm torn about blogging. There is SO MUCH I have to say, but do I really want to share it?