I knew 2019 would bring a lot of change to my life. After living with us for 7.5 years, Megan and Oliver were getting their own place, meaning I was going to have the time and space to finally start working on my art and Etsy shop. Brewier and I had started picking up furniture at thrift stores to make over and sell, and while sharing a house with the kids was fun it did add stress to our not so great marriage, but Brewier was getting help for his mental illness, so I had hope.
What has been shared on Daily Observations for the past 17 years are the high points, the good stuff. When I look back through the archives I think, "See, it wasn't so bad." Except that it was. I was in an abusive, marriage and am just now realizing how bad it was. To quote my doctor, "You've been brain f**ked for 38 years."
Monday, Brewier went to a see new psychiatrist in Tampa; he would only see Brewier if I went along. I thought I could do it, that I was strong enough to spend time with Brewier. I was so wrong.
I spent yesterday sitting in a chair weeping, the emotional beating I took making my body feel like it was physically abused. As I scrolled through Pinterest trying to numb my mind with pretty pictures, this article popped up. I read it, and it was if someone had written my life.
2 comments:
I found your blog through another blog and I don’t feel I should read it as it is so personal, but I read the article you linked through this post and it has opened my eyes about a relationship in my own life.
Thank you.
I can't recall how I connected to your blog but I've been following you for a couple of years. While not knowing you personally, your posts have always resonated and this includes the good, bad and not so good. My path has been different than yours but many of the same themes and life potholes which point blank can suck. Sending you prayers and strong mojo for peace, guidance and strength to navigate this turbulent time. And the article is spot on...
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