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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Yesterday Was a Dark Day.

You know, incase you couldn't tell from my blog post. I woke up in a pit of depression that I couldn't climb out of, and it wasn't until the end of the day, when my head started to clear, that I realized I had some kind of chemical exposure on Tuesday, causing this state of mind. I also let Megan get in my head, and put to much weight on things she tells me about myself, like, I'm horrible in social situations, I come across angry to everyone I talk to, and I'm really awkward around people. Sometimes those things are true, like after exposure to one of my allergens, but most of the time they're not.
Today I've been much better...more myself and very social :) We joined Megan's friend Rachel, and her daughter Sophie, at the river, for a relaxing morning.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

I'm Not Angry!

Megan told me today that her friends that come to visit, all think I'm angry. I will admit I have resting bitch face, and all my life I've looked like I'm walking around with a scowl, but now I apparently sound angry whenever I speak. I'm pretty sure a lot of it has to do with my severe social anxiety; now that I have no friends to visit with and talk to, my voice, and the few social skills I have are getting rusty. (not to mention that I've never been able to pick up on social cues.) I've talked to a friend about my oddness, and we're pretty sure I'm somewhere on the autism scale. Anyway, just incase you come to visit, or talk to me, I'm not angry, just socially inept.
Pics from today.

It wouldn't be my blog if I didn't post pollan pictures.

After sleeping on an air mattress for 6 months, Brewier got a new bed!

Tuesday, May 24, 2016


Last month I was in World Market, and came across a potting bench they had on sale for $100. I've always wanted a potting bench that I could turn into an outdoor beverage/snack, center, but even at $100, (normally $150) it was more than I wanted to spend on something I really didn't need. But...I couldn't stop thinking of how perfect this piece would be for entertaining, and when the grandchildren are here I can move it to the yard as a snack station, because it even has a dish pan in it so they can wash their hands! So Sunday when World Market sent me a 20% off coupon, I dragged Brewier to the store to check out the piece. It still had the sale price, I had a 20% off coupon AND I had a $10 shopper reward, so I bought it for $70. When I got home I checked Pinterest to see if anyone else had the same brilliant idea as me, and of course there are all kinds of photos of potting bench transformations. This is my favorite. Our store didn't have the grey bench, but Brewier said he would paint ours any color I want.

Mine looks like this right now, but big changes are in store.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Goodbye Goodwill

My friend Kelley, posted this to my Facebook page; she knows me well. I go to thrift stores weekly and most of Breweirs work wardrobe comes from Salvation Army, and Goodwill...except for pants. It's nearly impossible to find decent pants at either of these places. I've purchased some very nice, quality shirts recently, trying to add variety to my wardrobe, but when I put them on, I feel like a dog who has had a bad haircut.

Both of these tunics are silk; the one on the left is JCrew, the one on the right a Brittsh designer whose name I can't recall. The shirts fit me, but I feel so weird, and ugly in them.

I was trying to add some color when I bought the brown shirt. Normally I stay away from button shirts because they don't fit me well, but this one is actually flattering, and I may keep, and wear it. (Brewier likes it.) The shirt on the right, is Lcuky brand and like new. I thought it was really cute, even though it is a strong pattern. After putting it on for Jessica, she suggested I not wear it, as it really aged me. She was right; I have to keep reminding my self that I'm not so young or thin anymore.

I think I will take a break from my thrift store ways; I don't really need anything, and it's too easy to buy something you don't love, when it's only $4. I did have alot of fun at Goodwill, curating a whole new wardrobe for Megans friend, Shirlee. She is a tiny thing, and everything she puts on looks great, plus there are far more stylish choices in the size small section. This was at the airport when she was heading home. Doesn't she look like a celebrity?

Thursday, May 19, 2016

I Had an Epiphany!

It came about while shopping for my summer wardrobe. That sentence sounds much grander than the reality, as my summer wardrobe consists of a few new shirts, a new bag and a pair of sandals. Notice the lack of bottoms? That's where my epiphany comes into play. All my life, no matter what my weight, I have felt fat; nothing fits properly. You know why? I'M AN APPLE SHAPE. My middle has always been bigger than my hips, pants don't fit no matter what the scale says. A few years ago Sarah suggested I shop in the maternity section for jeans and shorts, but I thought, "Maybe if I loose some weight I can find jeans that fit." That will never happen, so today when Megan made the same suggestion, I thought, "Next time I' at TJMax, I'm hitting up the maternity section." Here are my purchases for summer, all from TJMax. (No, I'm not endorsing the store, it just happens to be one of the few places I can shop.)

This spring I've been living in these grey jeans that Sarah gave me, and my converse.

I bought two SLEEVELESS shirts. I've never worn sleeveless, not even when I was a buff weight lifter, but hot flashes have a way of making you say, "What the hell, let my arms jiggle in public, even if it does scare people."

Two t-shirts, the white one, a hand me down form Sarah, which I love; the other one a heathered grey linen.

Notice how all these shirts are cut to float away from the problem area? Epiphany.

Two light weigh linen sweaters. The one on the left goes to my ankles, and the one of the right is a hoodie.

My mothers day gift from Megan. It was made by a local artist, and I love it so much; it goes with everything.

My favorite scarves.

This morning my hair decided to make itself into a mohawk, making me think, "Hmm, I think I might like it cut so it always does this."

Wow, that morning light is harsh...somebody needs to hydrate.

So, notice how colorless my wardrobe is? I can't help it. I've always loved neutrals for myself and my home, so I'm going with it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

It's 5pm and I Just Now Showered.

I got up this morning with every intention of getting showered and dressed, but somehow ended up drinking three cups of coffee while building things with Oliver. From there he day just steamrolled with me catching up on laundry and ironing that didn't get done Monday, as well as vacuuming and dusting. I made a loaf of cinnamon swirl bread that is to die for, did some yoga, while the rest of my time was spent playing with Oliver. I'm tired near tears and came to the realization that I may still be getting over this virus. I texted Brewier and told him that I was a bad wife, with no food to feed him for dinner, and he texted back that he would pick something up and come home and take care of me. Yes, I am that lucky.

Our next door neighbors are a lovely couple in their 70's and yesterday Oliver went over to say hi and ask if he could walk through their gardens. After his walk he knocked on their door and asked if he could come in and play with some of their stuff, (they have grandchildren who live locally, thus they have toys.) Oliver had such a great time building things with the work bench, that they sent it home with him, to use for a while. He was so jazzed that he couldn't get to sleep, so Megan let him stay up late, building things.

We cut up paper bags and old boxes to draw and paint robots on.

And while it doesn't sound like a busy day, this is the first chance I've had to sit down.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I Was Sick!

For the past few days, I haven't felt well; tired, achy, head hurts, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Did I eat or drink something bad? Did someone spray their lawn? It was only today, when Brewier developed all the same symptoms, that I realized I had a virus. Duh.

Random fact. Having my house smell like fresh brewed coffee, makes me happy. Not just, "Yay, coffee, I'm happy" but mood altering, I felt a bit down, but now I'm happy, happy.

Its been a very, very bad week for teapots, here at my house.

These are the books I'm reading this week.

Brewier won a wireless speaker as a door prize at his convention last week I've wanted one for a couple of years, so I'm really excited, and have been listening to Pandora and Amazon almost constantly. Today I listened to this album, while painting a globe. The whole purpose of painting the globe was for me to work on not being a perfectionist, and not to plan or draw out what I was going to do. That's really hard for me.

Lime is one of my favorite flavors, so I picked this up at Trader Joes today. It's really good.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Things That Make Me Smile.

Introverting with this guy on a Sunday afternoon.

Izzy's new coffee cups; they match my home decor. (Except for my garishly painted walls which I hope to change soon.)

Because I'm weird and socially awkward, this sign taped to a door downtown, made me laugh out loud.

Albums from my highschool days, side by side at Goodwill.

Trying out a new to us brewery.

Spying this man who looks like a cross between my brother Greg, and his good friend Scott. Seriously, it was so uncanny I just kept staring at him.

Friday, May 13, 2016


Playing at the park.

Oliver went downstairs to change his clothes, and just came up, naked except for socks and sandals, and asked me, "So, what do you think?" How am I supposed to answer that?

This guy playing in our front yard.

The other night the coyotes waoke me up with their howling, then I heard a deep grunt, grunt, grunt, as something ran through our yard. The night life is real people, and I won't be sleeping outside anytime soon.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Sewing Day.

Every morning Brewier makes a pot of tea, and every morning for the past 20 years, this is the tea cosy he uses. I used to make and sell cozies, and when I came across the patteren in my sewing box, and had leftover fabric from my chair project, I figured it was about time for an update.

I found another curtain panel at Goodwill that I liked, and made a pillow for my bed, then used some of the leftover fabric to cover one of the red pillows I've had for 15 years. Here is a picture of Sam, who is now 14, on the sofa with ancient pillows.

Megan got a delivery from Amazon today, and Oliver immediately claimed the box. He pulled out his art supplies, and made himself a robot to wear. I love that along with control buttons,he made sure the robot has a heart.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

I'm Like a Teenager Whose Parents are Out of Town.

Let me preface this with saying that, Brewier is the most undemanding husband. If I've been crafting "working" all day and have nothing prepared for dinner, he's okay eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Or if his shirts didn't get ironed because I was out shopping, he just gets up early the next day and irons a shirt. However, when he goes out of town for a couple of days, I get giddy. Read a book all day? Sure! Rice puding for dinner? Why not?! So this morning after Brewier left for a conference in Myrtle Beach, Megan and I went out for coffee, a walk around downtown with a stop in Horse and Hero to restock Megans art work, picked up some library books, then went for fries and beer at Wicked Weed. It all feels very decadent. For dinner, I DID eat homeade rice pudding and kale and brown rice cheese bake. I feel gross, and thankfully Brewier is not here being subjected to my lactose intolerence.

This afternoon our next door neighbors invited us to tour their garden. It's a series of landscaped paths, and is comparable to the Biltmore in its beauty.